To me, Twitter sounded like the dumbest internet craze around when it first caught the world’s attention a few years back. For those unfamiliar with the website, you basically share what’s on your mind at any particular moment, and your message goes out to all of those other Twitter folks who follow you. It’s very similar to Facebook except you have limited space for what you type on Twitter – namely 140 characters for each “tweet.” If you’re a blowhard, you have to finagle your thought into that 140 character limit or you have to break up your thought into separate tweets.
The immense popularity of Twitter always confused me. I never understood the reason why anyone would be interested in the mini-messages of others. I always presumed that people were tweeting mundane thoughts or actions, like “Heading to the grocery store, everyone. Hoping they have my favorite Chef Boyardee.” Of course, if I had taken some time to read some tweets, I would have then “got it,” I believe.
I now do get it. There’s no doubt that Twitter is full of tweets that are indeed humdrum and boring, but then there are those that utilize the service in ways that are informative and entertaining. I get most of my world news and sports updates from Twitter, as well as follow what interests my kids and friends based on their tweets. It steers you to find new things online, and it also delivers some extremely funny thoughts and ideas from others.
There is a dark side to Twitter, however. And I’m beginning to think I am slowly becoming enveloped by this other half. You see, once I caught on, and once I started tweeting on a regular basis (@jrgrace), I became an addict. Obviously, I have it in my head that I’m Mr. Funny Man, but to my surprise, many people simply think I have serious mental issues based on what they read in these pages. My sense of humor is beyond goofball, a little dark, and sometimes it makes no sense to anyone except to me and my imaginary friends that follow me around and sometimes sit on my shoulder. (If you’re not chuckling even just a tad right now, don’t worry. You’re proving my point.)
And unfortunately Twitter has unleashed a madman in me. Instead of writing a long column for Arkansas Weekly full of lame jokes, many of which are questionable in taste, I can now take to Twitter and let loose with countless tweets that are equally, if not more so, lame and questionable in taste. And I can do it anytime of the day or night.
Here are some recent examples of my tweets. Read at your peril:
“I’ve been searching all over the apartment for my hot rollers, and I just found out my dad borrowed them. I bet he has my straightener too.”
“Watched an interview with Richard Simmons tonight. Wondering: Is it me or does he seem particularly effeminate to anyone else?
“Why do girls get mad when I answer ‘Only if you wear a mask,’ to their question: ‘Does this look good on me?’
“Kris Jenner in tears after news of Kim’s split. Relieved after she was reminded their lives are really scripted by E! and roomful of chimps.”
“At tanning salon. Tanning bed busted out laughing when I walked into my room. ‘Seriously?’ it asked me.”
“Karl Malden never left home without his American Express card or his Ed Hardy trucker’s cap. RIP Karl.”
“If verdict is not guilty in Jacko death trial, LAPD warn of riots by Jackson fans who are expected to effeminately slap police in anger.”
“To all my deer friends: Be safe and confuse the hunters. Wear orange.”
And finally:
“Just realizing Twitter is simply CRACK for obnoxious people who crave attention and/or think they are funny when they are not. Oh wait.”
The immense popularity of Twitter always confused me. I never understood the reason why anyone would be interested in the mini-messages of others. I always presumed that people were tweeting mundane thoughts or actions, like “Heading to the grocery store, everyone. Hoping they have my favorite Chef Boyardee.” Of course, if I had taken some time to read some tweets, I would have then “got it,” I believe.
I now do get it. There’s no doubt that Twitter is full of tweets that are indeed humdrum and boring, but then there are those that utilize the service in ways that are informative and entertaining. I get most of my world news and sports updates from Twitter, as well as follow what interests my kids and friends based on their tweets. It steers you to find new things online, and it also delivers some extremely funny thoughts and ideas from others.
There is a dark side to Twitter, however. And I’m beginning to think I am slowly becoming enveloped by this other half. You see, once I caught on, and once I started tweeting on a regular basis (@jrgrace), I became an addict. Obviously, I have it in my head that I’m Mr. Funny Man, but to my surprise, many people simply think I have serious mental issues based on what they read in these pages. My sense of humor is beyond goofball, a little dark, and sometimes it makes no sense to anyone except to me and my imaginary friends that follow me around and sometimes sit on my shoulder. (If you’re not chuckling even just a tad right now, don’t worry. You’re proving my point.)
And unfortunately Twitter has unleashed a madman in me. Instead of writing a long column for Arkansas Weekly full of lame jokes, many of which are questionable in taste, I can now take to Twitter and let loose with countless tweets that are equally, if not more so, lame and questionable in taste. And I can do it anytime of the day or night.
Here are some recent examples of my tweets. Read at your peril:
“I’ve been searching all over the apartment for my hot rollers, and I just found out my dad borrowed them. I bet he has my straightener too.”
“Watched an interview with Richard Simmons tonight. Wondering: Is it me or does he seem particularly effeminate to anyone else?
“Why do girls get mad when I answer ‘Only if you wear a mask,’ to their question: ‘Does this look good on me?’
“Kris Jenner in tears after news of Kim’s split. Relieved after she was reminded their lives are really scripted by E! and roomful of chimps.”
“At tanning salon. Tanning bed busted out laughing when I walked into my room. ‘Seriously?’ it asked me.”
“Karl Malden never left home without his American Express card or his Ed Hardy trucker’s cap. RIP Karl.”
“If verdict is not guilty in Jacko death trial, LAPD warn of riots by Jackson fans who are expected to effeminately slap police in anger.”
“To all my deer friends: Be safe and confuse the hunters. Wear orange.”
And finally:
“Just realizing Twitter is simply CRACK for obnoxious people who crave attention and/or think they are funny when they are not. Oh wait.”
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