Sunday, January 30, 2011

Things You Might Not Have Noticed at This Year's State of the Union

Here's my "All Over the Map" from the 02.02.2011 issue of Arkansas Weekly:


Last week’s State of the Union from President Obama has been the hot topic with most major media outlets for the past few days. However, a very interesting aspect to any State of the Union is observing the chamber during key points of the address. For instance, take a look at some of the things I noticed during the speech.

8:03 p.m.: President takes podium, shakes hands of Vice President Biden and Speaker of the House John Boehner. Surprisingly, President Obama opens with a joke: “Forgive me for being a few minutes late, but I just flew in from Ohio, and boy, are my arms tired.” Democrats roar with laughter; Republicans not so much, but I did see Sen. Mitch McConnell crack a smile.

8:07 p.m.: After going through some recent issues that have been on the minds of many Americans, President gives a shout out to the producers of The King’s Speech for their 12 Oscar nominations announced earlier in the day. “However,” Obama notes, “I have to say that I am personally disappointed Burlesque was not nominated.”

8:17 p.m.: I notice Biden appears to be texting.

8:25 p.m.: Camera cuts to former Sen. Robert Byrd. Graphic on screen says that Byrd’s last will and testament specified that his corpse attend each State of the Union for the next five years. Sen. Leahy, sitting next to the former Senator, is covering his face with handkerchief.

8:30 p.m.: This part of speech is dragging a bit. I see some members of Congress yawning. Speaker Bohener stands and stretches. Pulls out some nunchucks, practices a bit.

8:36 p.m.: Now the mystery of who Biden was texting earlier is solved. Dude from Domino’s delivers a box of pizza. Obama, looking slightly irritated, says: “Uh, Joe, I hope you ordered enough for everyone.” Chamber roars with laughter.

8:40 p.m.: Oh wow! The guy with the rainbow wig and John 3:16 sign is sitting next to Sen. Schumer. Where has he been lately?

8:42 p.m.: Uh-oh. A pair of panties is thrown on podium. Secret Service agents immediately tackle the culprit: former Speaker Nancy Pelosi. First Lady looks very upset. Stands up in her box and starts yelling to Pelosi: “B****, you wanna a piece of me?!?”

8:43 p.m.: Things seem to have calmed down. Interesting to note that when Pelosi was being escorted out of chamber, Biden looked at her, put his pinky and thumb to his face, and mouthed, “Call me.”

8:47 p.m.: President utilizes Speaker Boehner’s career as an example of fulfilling the American dream. Biden tries to stifle laugh every time President says “Boehner” but fails.

8:47 p.m.: Well, it's over. Pretty decent speech. However, the last part where President said, "Oh, and by the way, I'm the Antichrist!" seems to have shaken up a few folks. Personally, I think he was joking. But his eyes turning black and the forked tongue slithering out of his mouth were great special effects!"

No comments: