Here’s a brutal truth: Injustice is all over the world in which we live. Just a fact.
But there is a certain part of the world where injustice reigns supreme. It’s a place where nonsensical decisions are made every year. It’s a place where the choices of a despicable few affect the lives and legacies of those who are far more gifted and special.
The injustice epicenter of which I speak is, of course, the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.
I recently did an in-depth investigation on the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame by reading its Wikipedia page and doing a few searches on Google. I was shocked at who was in the Hall of Fame and, in particular, who was not. Sure, there are the standard legends in the Hall of Fame: Chuck Berry, Elvis Presley, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, and, of course, The Lovin' Spoonful. Yet the ridiculous and smug group that has inducted no-talents such as Johnny Cash, Stevie Wonder and some vile punk named Bruce Springsteen have yet to award hundreds of artists who are far more worthy for induction than the majority of the hack members of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. So when I found out that Kenny “Danger Zone” Loggins was not (yet) a member, I knew I had to investigate. What other acts were not yet recognized?
Here now are some of the legendary artists that have been spurned by the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Prepare to be shocked, ladies and gentlemen!
Slim Whitman. Yes, Slim Whitman! I know, I know…it’s inexplicable that the man who brought us such songs as “Vaya Con Dios,” “Rose Marie,” “Indian Love Call,” and “Ragtime Cowboy Joe” has been excluded from the Hall of Fame while Johnny Cash was not. Insanity!
Mr. Mister. I think people my age and a little younger can all agree that in our high school and college days, Mr. Mister was THE band. I can’t tell you how many times I stood outside various girlfriends’ homes with my boom box raised high above me while “Broken Wings” blared from the speakers. For some reason, this romantic gesture was usually met with derisive laughter and an occasional water balloon, but I know that, deep down, the words of Mr. Mister melted their hearts.
A Flock of Seagulls. Unbelievable! How can you not have A Flock of Seagulls in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame?!? Their fusion of synthesizers, melodic choruses and futuristic hairstyles was so far ahead of its time that only our children’s children’s children’s grandkids will truly be able to appreciate it. In high school, I was so impressed by A Flock of Seagulls that I began styling my hair after the lead singer’s – until I was beat up outside a Thida convenience store by a gang of elderly ladies.
GWAR. Now, sit down for a moment and just look at some of the many titles from this fantastic rock band: “Maggots,” “Beat You to Death,” “Sex Cow,” “Let Us Slay,” “Make a Child Cry,” “Fistful of Teeth,” “We Kill Everything,” “Escape from the Mooselodge,” and my personal favorite, “You Are My Meat.” The latter song was another I would play outside my various girlfriends’ homes, but for some reason, the girls’ fathers would usually come outside, physically attack me, and break my boom box over my head. You have no idea how many JVC DC-33s I went through one summer.
Air Supply. The exclusion of this group from the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame completely validates my argument. How can the legacy of Air Supply be ignored? The magnificent combination of singer Russell Hitchcock’s angelic voice and impressive perm with the virtuosic guitar stylings and golden tan of guitarist Graham Russell certainly paved the way for duos such as Wham!, The Pet Shop Boys, Soft Cell, and, of course, Savage Garden.
(Side note: Wouldn’t it be cute if Russell Hitchcock and Graham Russell married? Then Hitchcock’s new name would be Russell Russell.)
(Side note number two: If Air Supply really wanted to get the Hall of Fame’s attention, they would team up with GWAR for a world tour. GWAR could cover Air Supply’s “Lost in Love” and “Even the Nights are Better” while Air Supply could cover GWAR’s “Ham on the Bone” and “Slaughterama.” I’m telling you a GWAR/Air Supply combo would certainly get the attention of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.)
But there is a certain part of the world where injustice reigns supreme. It’s a place where nonsensical decisions are made every year. It’s a place where the choices of a despicable few affect the lives and legacies of those who are far more gifted and special.
The injustice epicenter of which I speak is, of course, the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.
I recently did an in-depth investigation on the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame by reading its Wikipedia page and doing a few searches on Google. I was shocked at who was in the Hall of Fame and, in particular, who was not. Sure, there are the standard legends in the Hall of Fame: Chuck Berry, Elvis Presley, The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, and, of course, The Lovin' Spoonful. Yet the ridiculous and smug group that has inducted no-talents such as Johnny Cash, Stevie Wonder and some vile punk named Bruce Springsteen have yet to award hundreds of artists who are far more worthy for induction than the majority of the hack members of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. So when I found out that Kenny “Danger Zone” Loggins was not (yet) a member, I knew I had to investigate. What other acts were not yet recognized?
Here now are some of the legendary artists that have been spurned by the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Prepare to be shocked, ladies and gentlemen!
Slim Whitman. Yes, Slim Whitman! I know, I know…it’s inexplicable that the man who brought us such songs as “Vaya Con Dios,” “Rose Marie,” “Indian Love Call,” and “Ragtime Cowboy Joe” has been excluded from the Hall of Fame while Johnny Cash was not. Insanity!
Mr. Mister. I think people my age and a little younger can all agree that in our high school and college days, Mr. Mister was THE band. I can’t tell you how many times I stood outside various girlfriends’ homes with my boom box raised high above me while “Broken Wings” blared from the speakers. For some reason, this romantic gesture was usually met with derisive laughter and an occasional water balloon, but I know that, deep down, the words of Mr. Mister melted their hearts.
A Flock of Seagulls. Unbelievable! How can you not have A Flock of Seagulls in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame?!? Their fusion of synthesizers, melodic choruses and futuristic hairstyles was so far ahead of its time that only our children’s children’s children’s grandkids will truly be able to appreciate it. In high school, I was so impressed by A Flock of Seagulls that I began styling my hair after the lead singer’s – until I was beat up outside a Thida convenience store by a gang of elderly ladies.
GWAR. Now, sit down for a moment and just look at some of the many titles from this fantastic rock band: “Maggots,” “Beat You to Death,” “Sex Cow,” “Let Us Slay,” “Make a Child Cry,” “Fistful of Teeth,” “We Kill Everything,” “Escape from the Mooselodge,” and my personal favorite, “You Are My Meat.” The latter song was another I would play outside my various girlfriends’ homes, but for some reason, the girls’ fathers would usually come outside, physically attack me, and break my boom box over my head. You have no idea how many JVC DC-33s I went through one summer.
GWAR: My mom's favorite band.
Air Supply. The exclusion of this group from the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame completely validates my argument. How can the legacy of Air Supply be ignored? The magnificent combination of singer Russell Hitchcock’s angelic voice and impressive perm with the virtuosic guitar stylings and golden tan of guitarist Graham Russell certainly paved the way for duos such as Wham!, The Pet Shop Boys, Soft Cell, and, of course, Savage Garden.
(Side note: Wouldn’t it be cute if Russell Hitchcock and Graham Russell married? Then Hitchcock’s new name would be Russell Russell.)
(Side note number two: If Air Supply really wanted to get the Hall of Fame’s attention, they would team up with GWAR for a world tour. GWAR could cover Air Supply’s “Lost in Love” and “Even the Nights are Better” while Air Supply could cover GWAR’s “Ham on the Bone” and “Slaughterama.” I’m telling you a GWAR/Air Supply combo would certainly get the attention of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.)
Perhaps the greatest music video EVER MADE!
And...one for the road -- featuring a fellow admirer of Slim Whitman.
