The Killers, Coldplay, Bono. "All These Things That I've Done."
Cell phone quality sucks, but still...you still get the vibe...
I love how the place goes nuts when Bono hits the stage.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Next Week's "All Over the Map"
Here's my "All Over the Map" for next week's Arkansas Weekly:
Pictures don’t lie.
Well, actually, in the age of Photoshop, they can lie. But I can tell you the photo below is raw and true, free of computer trickery.
Well, actually, in the age of Photoshop, they can lie. But I can tell you the photo below is raw and true, free of computer trickery.
The woman with the toilet seat is Lisa Smith, my sometimes on-air cohort on the radio station, Classic Rock 93 KZLE. Seeing Lisa with a toilet seat isn’t all that uncommon -- I mean, after all, her husband does own a plumbing business.
However, seeing Lisa carrying a toilet seat into the studio for a recent radio show is another thing.
“What the heck are you doing in the studio with a toilet seat?” I asked her on the air.
“Rob,” she said as she held up a piece of paper printed with some statistics, “did you know that the average toilet seat is cleaner than the desktops at most offices? That’s what a recent study says.”
“There’s no way,” I said.
She held up the paper and waved it in front of me. “That’s what this recent study says! Are you going to argue with these people?”
“Well,” I said, “why did you have to bring a toilet seat into the studio? Radio is an audible, not a visual, medium. You didn’t have to bring a toilet seat from the shop. You could have just read the study on the air.”
“I know that, but I wanted to show you how much I trust this study.”
She then pulled a sandwich out of a paper bag and placed it on the seat.
“So, you eat lunch at your desk a lot, right?” she asked. “I have here a sandwich.”
“Please don’t tell me you’re going to…”
She ran the sandwich all over the surface of the toilet seat.
“Please don’t tell me you’re going to eat that sandwich after you rubbed it all over that seat,” I said. “That’s a new seat! It hasn’t been used. It has to be new!”
“This is a used toilet seat,” she said and then took a big bite of the sandwich.
“You are disgusting!”
“Yummm,” she said.
“I can’t believe you did that. You are vile.”
“Hey, the study says it’s cleaner than the average office desktop.”
Then, laughing, she said: “I’m kidding. This is a brand new seat. I was just trying to be funny.”
Later that day…
My cell phone rings. It’s Lisa.
“Hello,” I say.
“ROB!”
“What’s wrong, Lisa?”
“THE TOILET SEAT!”
“What about it?”
“I WENT BACK TO THE SHOP AFTER WORK, AND MY HUSBAND ASKED WHAT I WAS DOING WITH THAT TOILET SEAT, AND I TOLD HIM THE STORY AND WHAT I DID, AND ROB, HIS FACE FROZE!”
“What do you mean, Lisa?”
“HE SAID THAT WASN’T A NEW TOILET SEAT! HE SAID ONE OF THE GUYS JUST PUT IT NEXT TO A BOX WITH A NEW ONE INSIDE! I THOUGHT THE ONE I BROUGHT WAS THE NEW ONE!”
I can’t help but laugh.
“SHUT UP! I ATE OFF A USED TOILET SEAT! I’M GONNA BE SICK!”
Two days later…
I run into Lisa’s husband at a local restaurant.
“Oh, that was awful about Lisa’s stunt she pulled with the toilet seat,” I say.
A smile creeps across his face.
“Did she tell you what I said?” he asks. “That it was used.”
“Yeah. That’s horrible.”
He laughs. “I was kidding. It was a new one.”
“Oh, that’s too good,” I say. “What did she say when you finally told her?”
“I haven’t,” he says, still smiling.
And I haven’t either. Until now.
However, seeing Lisa carrying a toilet seat into the studio for a recent radio show is another thing.
“What the heck are you doing in the studio with a toilet seat?” I asked her on the air.
“Rob,” she said as she held up a piece of paper printed with some statistics, “did you know that the average toilet seat is cleaner than the desktops at most offices? That’s what a recent study says.”
“There’s no way,” I said.
She held up the paper and waved it in front of me. “That’s what this recent study says! Are you going to argue with these people?”
“Well,” I said, “why did you have to bring a toilet seat into the studio? Radio is an audible, not a visual, medium. You didn’t have to bring a toilet seat from the shop. You could have just read the study on the air.”
“I know that, but I wanted to show you how much I trust this study.”
She then pulled a sandwich out of a paper bag and placed it on the seat.
“So, you eat lunch at your desk a lot, right?” she asked. “I have here a sandwich.”
“Please don’t tell me you’re going to…”
She ran the sandwich all over the surface of the toilet seat.
“Please don’t tell me you’re going to eat that sandwich after you rubbed it all over that seat,” I said. “That’s a new seat! It hasn’t been used. It has to be new!”
“This is a used toilet seat,” she said and then took a big bite of the sandwich.
“You are disgusting!”
“Yummm,” she said.
“I can’t believe you did that. You are vile.”
“Hey, the study says it’s cleaner than the average office desktop.”
Then, laughing, she said: “I’m kidding. This is a brand new seat. I was just trying to be funny.”
Later that day…
My cell phone rings. It’s Lisa.
“Hello,” I say.
“ROB!”
“What’s wrong, Lisa?”
“THE TOILET SEAT!”
“What about it?”
“I WENT BACK TO THE SHOP AFTER WORK, AND MY HUSBAND ASKED WHAT I WAS DOING WITH THAT TOILET SEAT, AND I TOLD HIM THE STORY AND WHAT I DID, AND ROB, HIS FACE FROZE!”
“What do you mean, Lisa?”
“HE SAID THAT WASN’T A NEW TOILET SEAT! HE SAID ONE OF THE GUYS JUST PUT IT NEXT TO A BOX WITH A NEW ONE INSIDE! I THOUGHT THE ONE I BROUGHT WAS THE NEW ONE!”
I can’t help but laugh.
“SHUT UP! I ATE OFF A USED TOILET SEAT! I’M GONNA BE SICK!”
Two days later…
I run into Lisa’s husband at a local restaurant.
“Oh, that was awful about Lisa’s stunt she pulled with the toilet seat,” I say.
A smile creeps across his face.
“Did she tell you what I said?” he asks. “That it was used.”
“Yeah. That’s horrible.”
He laughs. “I was kidding. It was a new one.”
“Oh, that’s too good,” I say. “What did she say when you finally told her?”
“I haven’t,” he says, still smiling.
And I haven’t either. Until now.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Backstage at the Super Bowl
Very, very cool thoughts and pics from Mr. Springsteen about his Super Bowl adventure. (Click here.)
Friday, February 06, 2009
Another Celebrity Meltdown
Colbert, though, actually has a point.
This guy had no clue how to behave on this particular set.
This guy had no clue how to behave on this particular set.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Monday, February 02, 2009
Christian Bale is just a tad upset. Just a tad.
TMZ recently uncovered a wee little temper tantrum that actor Christian Bale (The Dark Knight) had on the set of the new Terminator flick.
(Click here for the audio via Defamer.com. Press the play icon on the pic of bloody Bale.)
WARNING: Language is extremely profane. NSFW.
On another note: who knew that Gloria Steinem used to be Bale's stepmom?
(Click here for the audio via Defamer.com. Press the play icon on the pic of bloody Bale.)
WARNING: Language is extremely profane. NSFW.
On another note: who knew that Gloria Steinem used to be Bale's stepmom?
Disfarmer on Stage.
Mr. and Mrs. Barger by Mike DisfarmerThe Heber Springs photographer, Disfarmer, is now the subject of a, um, puppet show in NYC.
Today's New York Times has the info. (Click here.)
Disfarmer, who died in 1959, is somewhat of a cult legend in photography circles. Here is his wiki.
And here is a website devoted to his work.
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Amen Part 2.
Oh. Well...looks like the New York Times is calling one, Bruce Springsteen, "The Rock Laureate."
Click here for the article.
The dingleberries out there who say they can't get past Springsteen because of his "voice" need to S.T.F.U.! Pronto.
(Trust me: I know lots of such dingleberries. These are also the kind of folks who paid to see Paul Blart: Mall Cop, don't get Will Ferrell, and/or think Kenny Chesney rules. Sigh. And they probably don't even know who Kristen Wiig is. I'll tell you what Kristen Wiig is: dreamy. Sigh.)
Kristen Wiig
Click here for the article.
The dingleberries out there who say they can't get past Springsteen because of his "voice" need to S.T.F.U.! Pronto.
(Trust me: I know lots of such dingleberries. These are also the kind of folks who paid to see Paul Blart: Mall Cop, don't get Will Ferrell, and/or think Kenny Chesney rules. Sigh. And they probably don't even know who Kristen Wiig is. I'll tell you what Kristen Wiig is: dreamy. Sigh.)
Kristen Wiig
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