Here's part of next week's "All Over the Map" in
Arkansas Weekly.
When I was 8, my television diet consisted of re-runs of The Andy Griffith Show, The Brady Bunch, Gilligan’s Island and Get Smart. Plus The Bozo Show had Looney Tunes, Popeye and Casper cartoons. For me, after-school tube viewing circa 1974, was sublime.
Skip to 2006, and the world of digital cable/satellite – five hundred channels through which to zoom and from which to pick. And for the kids, there’s Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, Disney, Toon Disney, Boomerang, Nicktoons, Discovery Kids, Noggin, Nickelodeon Games & Sports, etc., etc.
Yes…our son is a Weather Channel addict.
For breakfast, he’ll shuffle downstairs, still sleepy-eyed and bed-headed, drag his socked-feet to the television, and without even a “Good morning” to me, punch on The Weather Channel. He has to get his “Local on the 8s” forecast before he gets to school.
At night, he has to see what the weather is going to do while he’s asleep. And, if he’s lucky, he’ll catch a suspense-stuffed edition of Storm Stories with the aforementioned Mr. Cantore.
“Dad,” he’ll tell me while watching an episode, “that lady on the t.v., um, her house was lifted – lifted – 15 feet in the air when an F2 tornado hit it.”
And, throughout the day, particularly a weekend day, I will get Weather Channel updates and Weather Channel-related questions.
“Um, Dad. We’re under a lake wind advisory until, um, six.”
Or…
“Um, Dad. We’re under a thunderstorm watch until ten tonight.”
Or…
“Um, Dad. What do they mean when they say ‘fair skies’?”
A few nights ago, when a band of storms surged through the area, he was about five inches from the television set, sucking in every little detail.
“It’s going through Floral at 7:15, Dad!”
“Dad, where’s Magness? The storm’s going to hit Magness at 7:35!”
I’m beginning to think we have another Ned Perme on our hands – only without the tan and piano skills.
But I should not speak so soon. Both our kids are taking piano lessons. If our son starts requesting visits to the tanning salon and begins wearing pastel-colored suits, I might begin to wonder if my wife was ever in Little Rock, and secretly seeing Ned about nine years back.